haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
