why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
