Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
