Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
