I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
