it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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