He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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