fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
