If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize