I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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