Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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