idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
