you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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