I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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