I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
