I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
