yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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