where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
