He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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