I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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