This girl is more easily done than said...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
