I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
