Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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  (314): I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found http://tfl.nu/6w2n
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (1037)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1648) Bad night (2579)
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  (631): View more from New York

  But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.

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  (631): But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures. http://tfl.nu/g3us
  Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (2747)
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  (707): View more from California

  so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?

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  (707): so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before? http://tfl.nu/2y4h
  Replies (50) Good night (916) Bad night (5842)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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  (801): the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome http://tfl.nu/ugx7
  Replies (14) Good night (5653) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.

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  (513): Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit. (478): I'll get my vaginal cartography poster. http://tfl.nu/m8ec
  Replies (28) Good night (5997) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off

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  (715): guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off http://tfl.nu/qflt
  Replies (10) Good night (3571) Bad night (1499)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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  (816): I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today. http://tfl.nu/j3kd
  Replies (3) Good night (2144) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.

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  (813): And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him. http://tfl.nu/ppzx
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.

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  (407): I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face. http://tfl.nu/ewha
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (534)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.

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  (+44): Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10. http://tfl.nu/gv39
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  What should I say back?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Well, how do you want the conversation to go?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Straight into my pants.

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  (541): What should I say back? (1-541): Well, how do you want the conversation to go? (541): Straight into my pants. http://tfl.nu/5wls
  Replies (2) Good night (1737) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.

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  (715): My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick. http://tfl.nu/97n3
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.

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  (262): I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul. http://tfl.nu/9aqu
  Replies (6) Good night (773) Bad night (510)

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