I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.