Nicole vs. Life
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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