PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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