maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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