So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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