Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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