marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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