it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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