I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Mom said you looked used
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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