I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
