so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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