i wish there were pregnant emoticons
In America we eat man semen.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
