I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
