dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
