You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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