I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
