Non-Jews are for practice
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dicks are not precious.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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