I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
