First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
