I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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