Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
