My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
