last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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