So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
