He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize