i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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