I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
