The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
