i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize