Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
