All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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