Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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