Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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