Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize