Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
