Ketchup is God's man juice
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
