I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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