i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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